Act natural

( Friday, Dec. 03, 2004 11:50 am )

>Oh Sherri, holds on, holds on, holds on

Yesterday I was in the mood I like to refer to as "jovial idiot," which is when I'm joking around and poking fun at myself and others while meanwhile feeling bad and tired and depressed--a mood that definitely makes me feel like an idiot. I had to work early and almost at the start of the day my good work friend Celine starting teasing me on my lack of ambition and I was all like "but I'm going to library school" and she said "Noooooooo!" Because it's not a creative field and she thinks I should be drawing cartoons about Big Chain Books for a living. Anyway, I can totally joke along with all this because it is kind of funny that I don't even have enough ambition for Big Chain, and won't even try to get a higher position there, but it still put me in a horrible I'm Wasting My Pointless Life mood all day.

After work Celine and I saw Finding Neverland, which I'll just gloss over because I didn't really like it. I hardly ever like movies, though I really like going to the movies. Critical faculties cripple enjoyment.

And then last night was a Quizo night, and me and Davy and Jim went out to join our team and play a disappointing game. I really should have insisted on "Ireland" for "country without any native snakes." Obviously!!! Plus I got blamed for insisting that Confederate P.O.W. camp Andersonville was in South Carolina. Georgia, apparently, but I'm still looking it up at work today!! The inevitable aftermath of Quizo is blame and recrimination, even when we win, and we've been on a losing streak lately. Anyway, I tried not to be bothered by it all, but really, smart is all I got. At some point I recall looking Davy dead in the eyes and saying something like "look me in the eyes and tell me I'm stupid, motherfucker." Uhhhhhhhhh, right. Kidding of course, but.....yeah.

Just one of those days where everything seemed off. I'd like to shake this feeling, but how shall I? I'd hate to be permanently broken-hearted and jovial. Saint Charlotte B., preserve me.

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