Act natural

( Monday, Nov. 29, 2004 1:05 pm )

>Feats of strength

I think the Christmas season is well in hand at this point, and I find myself strangely happy regarding the holidays, notwithstanding the whole retail thing. Black Friday was a madhouse, and included me having a horrible I LIKE TO READ! moment with a farting, loud woman who made me recommend books to her for what seemed ages. And she needed three books she would enjoy. And not bestsellers. And not essays or short stories--"I like to get to KNOW the character and make it last." Basically she was a ton of work under cover of a confiding let's-talk-books tone of voice and refused to consider Alice Munro, just like every other person I recommend her to. (SHE IS AWESOME, I don't care if you don't like short stories, you will read her and you will like her, or else I'll give you a refund at the end of my boot, y'know.) Seriously, not a soul likes my recommendations. And they're good ones too, I don't even say Charlotte Bronte, though she is mind-blowing in her greatness. So anyway, I'm making up a list of books I like and I'm not wavering from it anymore. Like thrillers? Try Alice Munro. Chick Lit? Alice Munro. Not recommendations so much as prescriptions.

Whoa, sorry, bookstore rant. I used to refrain from those because I thought it was lame to care even a little bit about such a stupid job and make it such a focus of my attention, but I guess now I've relaxed and started drawing bookstore-annoyance-related comic strips at the info desk that everyone seems to think are really funny, which is probably a bad sign. Pray for my soul.

Anyway, my plan is to get a good deal of Christmas shopping done today, since I'm in the mood to go into the city and I'm not resisting the too-early carols and lights and all like usual. Last night I went to David's to help him set up the Festivus pole (which gradually transformed into an artificial tree as we applied the color-coded branches) and then drank spiked eggnog in front of Adult Swim when several strings of lights refused to work. But to get back on topic, I'm psyched because I have a really good and simple idea of what to get for everyone on my list. It's all frankly inspired and fantastic and much of it readily available at Big Chain Books on a 40% discount. Plus I plan on doing a little page long cartoon summary of the year for all my Xmas cards. Holiday cheer! OK, vomit now.

Speaking of Christmas, Davy asked me if I wanted to go home with him, which sounds like a great idea to me. I think. Hopefully. Heartwarming and not insane. I think it sounds like a good plan, since spending Thanksgiving with my family was fairly awful. I had a good time with my brother, and my parents to a lesser degree, but the whole holiday system has always been a hassle, all the more so because we held the main event in the old folks home this year, where my grandfather is a recent resident. It's very sad and depressing, not least because I realize I hardly know my grandfather at all and don't really recognize the picture of him when my mother talks about what he used to be like, and now he's just old and in the humiliating situation of being in a nursing home. And not to mention frequently hallucinating about the FBI and train wrecks, pausing briefly to tell me to break out of my shell and join the movers and shakers (totally lucid then). Anyway, not fun. But travelling with Davy and his brother Jim--fun.

Happy festivus.

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