Act natural

( Tuesday, Feb. 15, 2005 12:49 pm )

>Confusion, plus a Whitman's sampler

Happy not-Valentine's Day anymore! I've kind of always been a fan of the holiday, despite being perennially lovelorn, because I like making cards for my friends with, like, sappy poetry, or glitter, or amusing pictures of Michael Jackson, or all of the above. This year, no exception--except I kind of went overboard getting some stuff for Davy, mostly with the Xmas present inequality in mind. Anyway, he came through with the classic flowers, candy, card combo which I've nonetheless never received before, certainly not from Call. Oh, and he decorated my mailbox too. He meant to do my apartment, but I recently had keys made for him and THEY DON'T WORK. Any idea why identical-looking brand-new key copies wouldn't work?

Anyhoo, I think I'm in the midst of my monthly depression days, which I've only recently decided I should try and link to my period instead of events occurring in my life. There is one depressing thing that happened recently, which is that an evil demon possessed me to tell Davy that I loved him. To be fair, I always feel at ease with him and loved, honestly, especially since the boy just generally tosses the word around--lover, loving, signs emails love--so I was feeling warm and snuggly, so I said it. And he was like "awww." And I was instantly really depressed and pissed off to think that even Davy couldn't love me. Jesus. Anyway, we've been spending every night together for about the past two or three weeks, so maybe that's too much. It's nice but it gives me more fuel for the oh-no-I've-done-it-again fire. My poor heart, I thought I was taking care of you this time, but now I'm doubtful.

I shouldn't be though, or should I? I really can be my own immature, hilarious self more with him than with anyone else.

P.S. Call--you are a horrible demon that haunts my life and I still look for you out the bus windows.

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