Act natural

( Thursday, Aug. 01, 2002 11:11 pm )

>Girl, you're wicked awesome

First, let me make one thing clear: I am so awesome. I really am, and I'm not saying it in a sarcastic way because I fell down a flight of stairs in front of a number of cute boys in my age cohort, like usual, no, tonight I really mean it, because I haven't even fallen down or burned myself with depiliatories or said anything dumb or peed on myself by mistake or watched too much TV or anything like that today. Here's why I am awesome: a dry sense of humor, a tendency not to take anything too seriously, a capacity for doing voices and accents, a cute propensity for non seqiturs, both intentional and accidental, an appealing shyness, a fundamental sense of charity and kindness towards others, an ability to overlook minor slights resulting from the minor craziness of others, an appreciation for beautiful flaws in others and in the world, a self-deprecatory streak a mile wide, an infectious laugh, a refreshingly non-materialistic outlook on life, a simplicity of wants (a beer, a meal, a peaceful night, some friends around me), a willingness to be silly, a certain tomboyish dignity (see love of dogs, beer, camping, chili, driving), good taste in music, literature, and movies, and long skinny legs. And this isn't even touching on the resume skills, of being a good writer, and being able to kick ass and take names at Trivial Pursuit, and what not. Clearly I am awesome. Even though I do like to amuse myself by calculating my personality flaws to nine decimal places, I still on the whole must recognize my confirmed awesomeness. I very much enjoy seeing the sudden discovery of this awesomeness by others. I just wish that they would discover it MORE OFTEN. I like to say the same thing in every entry, don't I? Well, I'll refrain from saying it this once, but just let it be known that I'm tired of waiting as usual. I was stepping out of the pool today and had a sudden rush of gladness that I am young and adult and free to do what I want and live where I want from now on. A rush of possibilities. Starting next Saturday, I guess, when I get to see the possibilities of an empty apartment and all my future before me.

So it's definitely on for this Saturday: me and Ruby are gonna take the nostalgia tour out to our old college town. OK, so we lived there less than 3 months ago, so it's not exactly a reunion, but we're planning to see all the old sites, and probably, like, cry in Stop & Shop and other such things. I can't even express my sadness at the fact that Stinky will visiting home in New Jersey rather than being in her apartment around PCU while we're there. And also sadly, Fifi is packing up and heading home to Rhode Island from PCU that day too. Suzy will be there, though working until 11. But what the hell, we'll go out just like old times, watch her pick up the Local Bar men just like old times and shout crass sex stuff at each other over the jukebox. I can hardly wait.

I've been unhappy with missing-ness for a few days now, but I think seeing Ruby and going to PCU will cure me, so maybe I'll be ready to move forward. Maybe. I was dreaming of the old town, and Nathan, and all sorts of homesick things this morning.

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