Act natural

( Tuesday, Apr. 30, 2002 9:42 pm )

>Lost and found

Happiness officially worn off......now! No particular reason, except that my generalized enthusiasm for all things Nathan evaporated during the course of the day. Yesterday I couldn't wait for him to call, today he called and it was OK, but not, like, a rush or anything. It's a much needed reality check, believe me. I was talking to June on the phone today, and she was saying how she told her friend Mike about my little internet relationship and his reaction was confusion, because "Almostreally's good looking, right? Am I thinking of the right person?" It's quite peculiar that I keep on getting complements from him relayed through June about being good looking. The last one was how I look like Claire Forlani, this actress. I suspect that June may be sort of pressing him for these opinions, because she likes him seriously, but in the manner of all perverse girls thought for a while that he and I would go well together. But to get back on the subject at hand, I do realize how strange it looks for me that I've turned to internet personals, but the truth is I'm shy as a mofo, and I'm just getting no play at PCU, just none at all. You can't put up with that for years and years, it gets painful. So now I'm happy just to be desired for once. It's a fucking novelty. And June and Mike don't understand how cute and nice Nathan is. I was being delusionally positive about him yesterday, but even today I realize what a good guy he is. I even think it might be one of those situations where I have no trouble leaving him behind because I think I'll meet many more just like him, but who knows?

Stinky has lost her cap and gown. They are in her room somewhere, but it is so messy that she cannot find them. Can you even imagine a room so messy that a large item of clothing like that can absolutely not be located? While you're imagining that, also imagine a room that smells overwhelmingly of B.O., like wet dog with a hint of feet and chocolate, because that is Stinky's room, which we call, quite accurately, the "Rat's Nest." I suggested she clean, and voiced amazement that the cap and gown could be lost, to which she replied, "Well, little miss high and mighty, where did you put your gown?" I says to her, I says, "I put it on a hanger, and hung it on my clothes bar." "A hanger?!?"

I do feel that Stinky and I have been bonding a little bit lately, talking about Nathan and her ex-boyfriend and drinking her Bailey's on the stairs the other night, and going to the diner. I think we may do the dorky thing and go see Monty Python/Holy Grail since it's coming to the cheap movie theater on Friday. And she took her shower this morning, so everything's copacetic.

If only I wasn't so depressed suddenly!

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