Act natural

( Saturday, Jan. 03, 2004 3:36 pm )

>Anniversary of my naked desire

Hello hello everyone. With it now being 2004 and all, I have begun my yearly resolutions to totally change everything about myself and become A Different Girl, Unlike What I Am Now and Better. Generally my resolutions are:

1. Stop watching TV all the time.

2. Floss

3. Use displaced TV time for writing, reading, and acquisition of new and interesting hobbies.

Number Three is the critical one, boiling down to "become a more interesting person." That's always my resolution, because I hate being so dull. It's time to at least have something on the backburner, in order to impress acquaintances in small-talk situations.

4. Get a new job so that I can afford to move.

I think I would really enjoy having some disposable income at this point, even if it means abandoning my lovely bookstore co-workers and substantial discount on coffee and free magazines and what not. In a rather lucky turn of events, Call decided that his main present to me would be our vacation to Key West, which we talked about on Christmas Eve Eve Eve in a bar, when he was ready to throw over his Xmas plans and leave with me the next day. I mourned my lack of time off or money for travel...and now....now I ignore those factors and revel in my boy's ability to be the world's best spur of the moment traveler. We reunited on New Year's Eve after about a week apart and it was stunning and lovely. I feel such a strong pull of love whenever I am with him. We hung out last night and I was overjoyed to find he was totally hepped up on caffeine while I was barely holding on to consciousness--I think I've mentioned that I love when he's all fidgety and talky and cuddly when I'm falling asleep, since it makes such a nice change from many college nights going to bed lonely and having to pretend I was sleeping next to a talky, wonderful boy (who was, admittedly, in my thoughts, in 1999, Conan O'Brien).

Anyway, I think if I remember correctly, that my main resolution last year was to be entirely naked and horrible and selfish in my wants, and to want unlikely and wonderful things, which in reality boiled down to "make McCall Peters like me and go out with me and sleep with me of an evening," which indeed I did accomplish. Point being that the whole of 2003 was basically taken up with my pursuit of sex and love. I don't find anything wrong with this, because, really, tell me what is more important in the world?, but it did cause me to entirely disregard important practical issues like Not Working in a Bookstore For the Rest of My Natural Life and Starting to Actually Write Something Instead of Just Telling Various Scientists That I Am a Writer. This may require being slightly less Call-centric, maybe. I should really get more of a life apart from him, even if I still do believe Love to be more important than anything.

Well, my love to you all in 2004. Sorry to ignore you in order to work retail and contemplate my adorable boyfriend. I think I've mentioned that happiness is still like a brand new toy to me--it still hasn't gotten old, even though I've been happy throughout this entire diary--and it's still a little strange to find myself mostly happy rather than mostly depressed. How strange that life is really like this.

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