Act natural

( Thursday, Aug. 14, 2003 5:21 pm )

>Why I'm a tool of The Man

I had another heartwarming day at work, although it's distinctly possible that the thrill of leaving cast its glow retroactively over the past hours, making the whole day's work seem positive. Who knows. Anyway, so I "won" tickets to a Phillies game by my servitude to the man (I sold the most discount cards in a month, which I find very surprising and also embarrassing. I don't actively try to sell the things at all). Actually, it was very convenient, since Juney was just saying she wanted to go to a game, and now we are. Last month the prize was a store gift certificate, which would have been nicer, but whatev. I was thinking about my last baseball outing, with Call's co-workers, and the one girl on a mission to get on the jumbo-tron, and I was trying not to smile like a moron at work, thinking about her determined ass-shaking after every inning.

In other lameness news, I bought this purse yesterday and it is cute cute cute and now I have to tell you about it: it has my initial on it, which makes me love it. And it was cheap too. $15 at Lord and Taylor. And did I mention cute? OK, I'm done with the shopping talk now. Jesus. Why don't I just buy a pink lacy dress and a little tiny dog and a bag to carry him in and some pointy-toed shoes and be done with it.

Oh, I do have one more purse comment. This is based on long experience at the cash registers of Big Chain Bookstore.... Ladies! Louis Vuitton purses are UGLY UGLY UGLY deathly UGLY and HIDEOUS. Unattractive. Please stop purchasing them because they are offensive to my eye.

OK, just one more purse thing! So in my shopping, I noticed some with Marilyn Monroe printed on them, and some with Audrey Hepburn, and I like the idea, but I don't care two sticks for Marilyn. Do you think there'd be a market for it if I printed up some Emerson purses, or some Alice in Wonderland ones? Whitman? Or, dare I say, CHARLOTTE BRONTE? It may sound lame, but in my head it looks very cool, trust me. I wish I could shop in my head.

So that was three things about purses. I had some real literary shit saved up for you today, too, about the canyon of Market Street and how it smells like a museum, and some stuff about marble lobbies and bike boys, and the reflections of shiny hair in the bus plexiglas, but forget it now. Just the shopping today.

I forgot that I bought the perfect pair of jeans the other day too! Old Navy, just below the waist, dark, stretch, long, on sale. Who's your daddy?

Now I'm going to get drunk with my man. Later, baby.

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