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( Wednesday, May. 08, 2002 2:02 am ) >Five things Today I feel relieved of several burdens: 1. Classes are over with. 2. After only a brief im chat with June, I came to my friggin senses regarding Nathan. I was getting my panties in a twist thinking about Wednesday and sex, whereas June handily pointed out the huge gap between just kissing someone and the whole naked olympics. There's no way I can even consider having sex without having ever done anything else foreplay-related. It's absurd. And I'm just going to be honest with him. He's a nice guy, I like him, but I'm not overwhelmed by him. Making out etc. til I graduate would frankly be fine by me, but if he's not into it, that's ok too. As I tell June about her "friend" Mike, there are better, taller fish in the sea. 3. I got an extension on my horrible history term paper that I still haven't started, enabling me to slack off. 4. Ruby and I finally started in on our pot tonight (see #3), which was very enjoyable indeed. I got pretty stupid. 5. I felt a sudden rush of magnificent freedom...I can move to Philly for a year, maybe Ruby and I will live together after that, in California or Australia...I could go anywhere, I could work on a farm...I'm young and adult and I don't have to be ambitious, I can do anything I want. In short, I feel back in control of my destiny again, and not dreading things I feel like I must do. The world is my oyster. It's a thousand degrees in this house; I hope I'm not delirious with fever. At my professor's house, one of the smart boys talked about taking anti-malaria pills and the strange, vivid dreams that resulted.... |
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