Act natural

( Friday, Feb. 22, 2002 1:05 am )

>Olympic-caliber dorkiness

We're now deep into the Mellow Loneliness Hour, typically that time of night when a free-floating depression steps in briefly to chill out. I don't know what's with me tonight. Even ol' TV has let me down, with Michelle Kwan only getting the bronze (this peculiar scream came out of me when she fell; I can't help but feel sympathy for her, watching yet another annoying, wholesome blondy person get the gold) and finding out that Daniel Pearl, the Wall St. Journal reporter, had been killed by his kidnappers (had been following that story for a long time; I was so sure he'd be freed). The only up point on the box tonight was flipping onto Cribs for a second and swearing that Ludacris or some such person had a rotisserie in his bathroom, the thought of which had me rolling on the floor. I crack myself up.

Yesterday went very well: I had a meeting with my writing prof, who declared I was her favorite (this after only reading a few very short things I wrote at the last minute) and offered to try to help me with contacts for getting a job in NYC after I graduate. I find it so cheering to be complimented. Even things like moving to a big city and getting a liberal-artsy job in a big recession seem possible. Later that night I went to a make-up art history class. The prof. brought in some Japanese red bean gellatin-candy for us: it was awful but I ate it politely. I spent the whole class mentally composing a letter to someone I've been thinking about for far too long. I actually wrote a draft of it today...I'm afraid one paragraph I wrote will have to be cut out: "I was thinking of you because I happened to meet another girl from the class in the bookstore the other day. She was there with a transvestite, buying children’s books—something that sticks in my mind—and she asked if I was in touch with you. I can’t remember her name, but she has a purple horseshoe tattoo on her arm, if that helps." That's probably the point in the letter when things go from friendly and casual to scary and weird. This is someone I barely know, after all. Today I resolved not to send it.

My roommate Ruby just came in. She was hanging around with her crush tonight, so we had to go over all the adorable things he did tonight, and that he does in general. I'm afraid I'll have to appoint them both my Ambassadors of Adorable. I think he'll fall in love with her eventually, possibly after seeing her fearsome skillz at Mario 1 on the old skool Nintendo. He came over to our house briefly tonight to pick her up, so all us roommates were a little too obviously glad to see him. He was very friendly to us, but I got really quiet and dorky, and Priscilla blurted out "They killed Daniel Pearl" apropos of nothing at all. Us two plus Stinky Pete the sci fi geek=not a great impression of Ruby's kool dude friends. Oh well, she'll look better by comparison.

Goodnight

<< - >>