Act natural

( Friday, Aug. 30, 2002 1:00 am )

>3 Wishes

I have to admit I feel my life would be better if I had attractive and sexually stimulating (to others, I mean, I guess) underwear for every day of the month, and the perfect quilt for my bed, and an attractive dark-wooded dresser that is taller than it is wide, and nice clothes that all fit me perfectly and look grown up but not boring, and a new haircut. I haven't even been reading women's magazines lately, so I can't imagine why I have the makeover fever. There was something about being at The Beginning of my life and getting to leave behind the stuff I didn't like. I really like to have things neat and empty for a while, but then I want to collect junk again. I swear to god I don't want a room out of Pottery Barn or IKEA, but there's definitely a large part of me that wants all my stuff to match and have a big aesthetic. Or maybe I just don't want to live like a student anymore. I'm sick of all the friggin posters and plastic crates. But meanwhile my life's going to be portable for years longer.

I don't really feel like thinking about my life's plan. I consider that it's far too early to worry about such things, isn't that true? I probably shouldn't be so hard on myself; I've done pretty well so far. I might as well go ahead and say that I am good enough, and then add that I am smart enough, and in conclusion, doggone it, people LIKE me. My criticisms of myself are generally based around my social awkwardness and tendency to have extremely vibrant and amusing conversations in my head but never in reality. If I just had a pause button on life (much in the manner of Zach on Saved By the Bell) I would be such a friggin sparkling conversationalist and go around delighting everyone with my sweet non sequiturs like a friggin Meg Ryan only without the collagen lips. Because I would have time to think about what I should say, I mean. So, to sum up, my top 3 wishes are: 1. Pause Button, 2. Consumer Durables, and 3. Life Plan. Oh, and also someone to smooch me on the front steps, but that might follow in consequence of my pause-button eloquence.

Moving on, I am pleased to report that the WB comes in really really clearly on our TV now, I think because I put my slinky on top of the set more out of superstition since Juney assures me that it could not scientifically be improving our reception. Anyway, I am not pleased to report that there is never anything good on the WB, and it is the only channel we get. We're going out drinking tomorrow night (me possibly with new Meg Ryan-style ingenue haircut?), so perhaps that will make it seem more entertaining. Thank god we live on a numbered street or we might never make it home. And we're going out for dinner Saturday, which is good because I am sick to death of my own stupid cooking.

<< - >>