Act natural

( Wednesday, Oct. 29, 2003 3:09 pm )

>Don't push me, cause I'm close to the edge

What up, friend? So today I have the day off and finally made it home after two days and two nights spent at work/with Call. I was pretty excited to get home because I'd purchased makeup and fishnets for part of my halloween costume and had been just carrying them around in my backpack forever, dying to get a chance to try it all on. My costume concept is now Goth/Teen Wiccan/Dead Schoolgirl/Slutty Charlotte Bronte. Basically it involves looking whorish and wearing black. Anyway, I put on all the makeup earlier this afternoon and scared myself just a little bit, so mission accomplished there! I feel it may alarm people who know me, but it looks really good--I may decide to become permanent goth. (I wear black on the outside because black is how I feel on the inside.) Actually, this raises a question with me: do teen goths slowly incorporate more black into their outfits when they decide to go from average clean-cut to goth, or do they just go cold turkey one day and show up at school like the Queen of the Damned?

I am trying to urge Call to go as my celebrity crush, Professor Frink from The Simpsons. I will even buy him a bowtie, if that's what it takes.

Hmm, now I'm trying to review my week to see if anything interesting happened in it. I can sum it up under two heads:

1. Ill-advised mall trip. On my last day off, though I had planned to go into Center City for halloween shopping, Juney and I went out to the mall, since she knew someone who knew someone who had a car and could give us a ride. Unfortunately this meant listening to the prattle of a self-involved skinny Dutch girl on the way out and the Eagles game on the way back, plus an interminable side trip to a musical instrument superstore, but that's the price you pay for a free ride. Basically, the mall is stupid. Why drive 20 miles to go to the Gap, when I don't go to the Gap that is 10 blocks from my house? It's also really hard to go shopping when you have no money to spend. It's like the retail museum. If I was a teenager again, I'd do nothing but pester my mother to buy me pretty clothes. If only I had been more shallow and greedy back then. Sigh, my lost youth.

2. Work anxiety. Though I feel like I'm really very good at my monkey's job at Big Chain Books, and have very amusing times with the people I work with (ie. "Children's Meeting," which involves sitting around the table in the children's department and doing nothing, although possibly playing with the toys or reading the books), I'm getting more and more fed up with dealing with horrible, irritable customers who assume I'm stupid. And maybe I am stupid; I am the one wearing a name tag. One old lady told me to get my act together, and I was like, "Old woman, I may look mild mannered, but I will cut you." Except only in my head. Also, people who like to micro-manage my computer searches, like I've never done one before. People, people, I will tell you this and you will believe me: it's not case-sensitive, and "a" and "the" don't matter.

It's only a matter of time before my loud, public meltdown. (I can laugh about it now, but at the time it was teeeerrible.)

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