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( Thursday, Jul. 10, 2003 4:47 pm )

>You're sweet, like lead paint is sweet

So anyway, what's up? Don't be alarmed if this entry cuts off in mid-sentence: I'm using Junebug's computer and if she suddenly comes home from lab I'll have to disconnect real quick and start whistling nonchalantly so she won't suspect that I keep a TOP SECRET INTERNET DIARY (LAME). Oh the deep secrets I reveal here.

Anyway, so picture this: I was sleeping over Call's night before last, and he was super-caffeinated and wide-awake and talking to me in bed, and singing and quoting and jumping up to grab the Norton Anthology to determine if "Do Not Go Gentle..." was a villainelle. I was so tired that I was monosyllabic but nonetheless really liked it, due to the remnants of a fear I used to have as a kid, which was the fear of going to bed/being alone. Sometimes when he falls right to sleep and I'm wide awake that same kid feeling comes back to me, so I was enjoying his mania. Anyway, in the midst of all this, in bed, in the dark, he suddenly grabs my hand and starts spelling out letters into my palm. I'm trying desperately to figure out what he's writing, and then I have a sudden flash: "oh my god, he's saying 'I L-O-V-E Y-O-U' isn't he?!?! Oh holy crap, isn't that wonderful, but what do I say back?! Oh lordy lord, that was definitely an E!" So I'm freaking out, because while I can imagine potentially loving him, I don't think I love him right now, though I do like him much of a muchness, and I never would have thought he was in love with me. So Call says, "Do you know what I said?" And I say, "NO! What?" possibly too forcefully. And he says..............."Water, Helen!!"

Water, Helen. Like Annie Sullivan teaching Helen Keller, you remember? "Oh my god, you're the miracle worker," I say, exasperated, canceling the red alert status in my brain and going to get us both ice water.

Anyway. Did anybody besides me and Juney watch America's Next Top Model? It was so frickin outstanding, although we were both very disappointed to see Elyse eliminated. Nonetheless, we liked Adrienne too, and Juney attempted to jump atop me, Adrienne-style, at the conclusion of the episode. Next to shows about weddings, shows about models are #1 on my list of Girly Things I Love But Won't Publicly Admit to Loving.

Things I Am Looking Forward To: 1. dinner, 2. cottaging on Saturday. I love them both so, so much. Now to rest my weary bones with my ol pal Telemevision.

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