Act natural

( Monday, Dec. 15, 2003 1:00 pm )

>It was indeed arched and metallic

Hey! Hey! Guess who went to the arch? I'm just back from St. Louis, where I attended cousin Derrick's wedding to a nice girl and set foot in the midwest for the first time, and had some good ol midwestern fun times, mostly accompanied by my northern friend, alcohol.

First of all, I'd always assumed the arch was red. I think I was misled by a cheap snowglobe somewhere along the line.

Second of all, it was probably a good thing that Call didn't come, since my Call-taking-me-to-the-fake-prom fantasy did not include 1. getting stranded at the bride's grandmother's house or 2. polka versions of "Old Time Rock and Roll" and "Proud Mary." The wedding reception (in the midst of the hills in the midst of a blizzard, stranding our chartered bus on a sheet of ice) was at the local K of C and actually included a live band consisting of old men playing polka numbers and giving such between-song asides as "and you'll all remember this next song from the Gracie Allen and George Burns show." I did indeed polka with my mother to stunning visual effect, thus cementing my position as the Coolest Girl of All Time. We were pretty good though. Polka! Self-taught!

The rest of the weekend was taken up with drinking with my family and/or being hungover with them. The two pillars of affable drunkenness were cousin Derrick's older brother cousin Conrad, who told me several times that I was next in line to get married and that he and Derrick would certainly show up to drink at my wedding, and my aunt Barb, who embraced me at the bar to say "I love me some Almostreally." I am the next oldest cousin, but I successfully dodged the bouquet, though I had a frightening vision of catching the beast, and had to fortify myself with champagne. And then the old men started to sing the Electric Slide (though they omitted the boogie-woogie-woogie part) and all was well. Actually all was well until Saturday night, when the near-stranding and the relatives singing Christmas carols on the bus and the socialization got to be too much for me and I retired to my hotel room to watch Ghostbusters in bed, restoring good feelings all around.

And now I have returned and Philly (metaphorically) embraces me. I'm waiting for mail to arrive, including things I ordered for Call (clever T-shirt, beer glasses) and Xmas presents and cards. And hooray, now it's time for lunch.

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