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( Tuesday, Sept. 24, 2002 11:36 pm ) >I love Ralph My cure of the day was Emerson in Rittenhouse (that means reading "Self-Reliance" in the park for those of you not living in my head). Nothing can bring you peace but the triumph of your principles! A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of small minds! Whoso would be a man must be a nonconformist! My man. Currently I'm home aloon. Juney is out at a random rock show with some of the science geeks. I didn't want to glom on to her friends yet again, plus, did I want to go see a crappy band in South Jersey? Nooooooooooooooo. I haven't been writing short stories in the longest, longest time, and it's beginning to be more of a concern for me, because I really want to. Nevertheless, I've decided to go easier on myself, because I have been pretty consistently writing little poems and songs, so it's not like my creativity is totally dead. It'll come back some time, but I keep thinking that the proximity of my computer and a TV prevents me from getting a lot of important things done. It's just that writing is hard, and I'm totally undisciplined. I've only been able to do really short and kind of simplistic things. I'm so aching to put in an example, but I promised myself: no poetry in the diary. Because honestly, what is worse than reading other people's poetry? Nothing. Emerson was just so helpful, though, in getting me to relax and trust myself and forget about how I look in the eyes of others. All I have to do is figure out my own particular genius and then trust that what is true for me in my secret soul is true for all men. Cake. I wish you could see me take the trolley these days. I am so fucking cool, so full-time nonchalant. Men in suits turned to look at me on the sidewalk today and I smiled the world's nmost subtle smile. They knew it. I AM A GENIUS! |
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