Act natural

( Tuesday, Apr. 22, 2008 9:08 pm )

>Gemini's twin

I realized that I used to be happier when I wrote here a lot as though my life were a source of amusing tomfoolery, kind of like Bridget Jones. So let me start again. Alcohol: 2 units.

Going to the Grand Canyon, other parks, this Saturday. A little worried, but I think it will be tremendous, and I don't plan on combing my hair or wearing a bra the entire time. The Saturday after we go to Vegas for the night and stay at a hotel with 5 pools and a lazy river (cause we like to swim). Meanwhile, I'm just worried, which is probably why I'm drinking. I quit weed on weeknights, but it probably doesn't count if you drink instead.

Currently The Bloggers are watching Pennsylvania primary returns. I voted for Barack, even though it makes me sad to relinquish the idea of a female president, and one who would probably engage in dirty tricks on behalf of the party of sweater-wearing liberals. But, you know, "hope." He's bound to be an enormous let-down, but for now, there is hope. Couldn't get worse.

But anyway, I'm resenting the bloggers, not only because they are watching both Battlestar G. and election returns--the two least interesting things on TV--but mainly because DC Blogger is here, and, well, I hate that guy. Jim must have told him that I hate him, because he's doing the things that I hate at me extra tonight. It's unfair to do so on my own couch, in my opinion. "Rape" jokes. Not just that, but all this "rape" talk with me as the rapee. I know you will agree with me that this is beyond the pale, he's not Sarah Silverman, this is not his stand-up showcase......anyway, one thing people do not understand is that quiet people are thinking extremely mean thoughts, but quietly. The "Introvert Advantage" is that I only think things that I would probably regret saying. But I am very good at identifying the things people are probably most self-conscious about and formulating funny and cruel things to say about them. And from all this rape talk I can surmise that he probably was born without a penis, and maybe his testicles only descended last year. What a sad story! At least I finally got a chance to use my latest put-down appropriately: "Oh, why don't you go blog about it!"

Anyway, let me get another glass and get angrier about it.

I've decided to start blogging as a means of getting a book deal. It seems quite simple! Except that I was supposed to get a password from Wordpress 2 days ago and still nothing, those bastards.

My horoscope told me to work hard today, which I did do, for once, and then to exercise, which I did not because it was hot out and I wore a sweater and boots today. But maybe that's the problem, cause I feel like hell now.

<< - >>