Act natural

( Tuesday, Jun. 03, 2003 12:32 am )

>And by fat I mean cute. And by old I mean cute.

Oh dude, I'm sorry, it's been so long. So much is different too: 1. we got a couch (I spent today breaking it in with extended TV watching, reading, snacking, and napping), 2. I found out that Matt (aka Pukey Boy, aka Juney's man) is a REPUBLICAN (gasps of horror and rescinding of the charming hypothetical maid of honor reception toast from me), and uh...what's a good three? Well, 3. Cally Boy came for once during, uh, intercourse. I'm sorry if you don't want to hear all the graphic details, but it was a pretty great event as far as I was concerned, and, like, definitely a landspeed record. I was like, "who ARE you?? What exactly was wrong all those other times?" (only in my head of course). Anyway, it was grr-reat. Ugh, do you hate me now? I'm such a Puritan with other, non-anonymous-internet-reader people, I swear.

Anyway, I spent a good amount of the weekend working, and the remaining chunk hanging out with Call, and frequently also with his lab-mates (aka co-workers) and drinking, as grad students are wont to do. I also picnicked with the Unitarians fer once, and a had a good, semi-awkward time that concluded in me feeling pressured to give my phone number to a very nice and perfectly handsome, though possibly semi-dull, Jersey guy. And I did, because, I don't know--he took me by surprise and didn't ask so much as say "give me your phone number" and I hadn't gotten the flirt-vibe from him earlier, he just ran after me as I was leaving--so I just panicked and gave him my number, and imediately felt terrible about it. OK, so I'm stupid; men and women can't be just friends--I get it now, OK, but I was caught off guard! He called here sometime when I was out with Call, and Juney fielded the call and told him he had the wrong number (not out of any pre-arranged plan of deception, but because she didn't know of my foolish phone number giving out behavior and he was apparently confused and confusing on the phone and possibly had forgotten my name to boot). Anyway, awkwardness. I should have mentioned Call in conversation at the picnic, but it was my old shyness/reluctance to say "my boyfriend" getting the better of me.

Despite having a good, full, entertaining weekend, a little free-floating depression was, and still is, afflicting me a bit. It doesn't make any sense, but there you have it. Sometimes I'm able to trace my emotions back to some root cause, stupid and trivial as it may be, so I at least understand what the irritant is, but other times, like this one, I just have no clue as to why I'm down. Anyway, I hope it clears up soon, since I've been looking forward to my birthday (T-minus 11 days) for ages and ages. Fat and old, that ought to cheer me up. Speaking of fat, have you ever had Herr's salsa and lime-flavored torilla chips? They were my fatass on the couch food for today, and I highly recommend them.

Anyway, so recently I've been working a lot, and it really tires me out. That's not necessarily a bad thing, y'know, at least I sleep well at night, although in the mornings I dream about work all the time. And not even cool, weird dreams, either, just, like, dreams about putting magazines away and straightening books. This morning I dreamt that I had forgotten that I was a senior in high school, and my work schedule would interfere with school hours. It's funny to wake up relieved that I work at Big Chain Bookstore and don't really have to go to high school.

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