Act natural

( Tuesday, May. 11, 2004 9:44 am )

>Like a fool I gave you candy

Well, the best I can say about today is that it is in fact another day. I'm real keen on the passage of time lately, wanting the beautiful, insulating days to come piling in so that the summer of crap can be over with, leaving me with a new job, a new place, and a heart that's over Call. Breaking up with him was like shooting Old Yeller.

I'm usually feeling pretty good, which does seem a little strange, but the depression does visit me, and sometimes anger. It's all like a science experiment; I can't explain any of my emotions. Yesterday morning I got an email from him that was OK, pretty nice; him saying he'd been moping around and working a lot, which I can readily imagine. It made me cry though, because he said something about it not seeming real til he saw his extra keys on the floor (where I had pushed them under his door). The imagine of my keys on the floor was too much for me. Last night I dreamed we were both at a family wedding (both his family and some of mine were there) and we had some awkward social interactions.

It would be helpful if I would stop thinking about him for three seconds, but then that was always my problem.

Anyhow, I do have the day off today, so luckily I can spend it in my preferred way, walking around the city in the sunshine, plus renting movies (cause the cable's out), and buying groceries (cause I'm out of my main food groups: sesame dressing, peanut butter, and yogurt).

Also yesterday I think a guy in a parked car got my attention in order to say that I have "nice gams." One reason I have for thinking that is that I do have nice gams. One strike against that theory is that people do not say "nice gams" anymore (he was not 80).

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