Act natural

( Sunday, Apr. 13, 2003 2:08 pm )

>Ass and lemons

Another Sunday, another walk of shame. So guess what I was doing when I should have been in church this morning? Attempting to have sex with Call, for the second time. Can you believe that shit? Well, you note the word "attempting." That is key. I tend to believe I am some kind of freak of nature, and I also tend to believe that I am never ever going to manage to come with him. It's just an impossible dream at this juncture. But meanwhile, I am at least happy that steps have been taken in the direction of ending my reign as the world's oldest virgin, plus now I can buy condoms with a certain sense that they are a necessity and not some sort of speculative, delusional purchase.

So can I just say that failing repeatedly to carry out a basic biological function common to all people worldwide is kind of a bummer. Before that the night was pretty well amusing.

Oh Jesus Christ.

Anyway, moving on. So at night I dreamed various strange dreams, a couple of them involving having sex with Call in public places. Another very clear one was one in which I was at a party and I attempted to go into the bathroom, but there were a bunch of heavy metal-looking guys hanging out in there, which caused me to get embarrassed and blurt out "ass and lemons!" (which is Dave Attell talking about what bathroom air fresheners smell like). And then in the dream I started laughing hysterically at my own stupidity and ran downstairs to tell a bunch of people, including Call, what had just happened.

Last night we had so-so Thai dinner and went to Christopher's so-so party. We left there a bit after one and proceeded to WaWa to treat the munchies with a disgusting and delicious combination of spicy nacho doritos and chocolate ice cream, plus Little Chocolate Donuts for breakfast. I was semi-drunk and amused, and we sat in Call's kitchen eating, and he recited parts of poems for me, causing me to exclaim "take me now!" which startled him considerably, though I was joking.

I don't think I can keep up this Call-centric lifestyle. Like, this entry strikes me as totally ridiculous.

Now to eat ramen and read the amusing parts of the paper.

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