Act natural

( Sunday, Aug. 08, 2010 11:10 pm )

>World without end

This weekend we went to Davy's grandma's funeral. I have never been to a Catholic funeral before--there were many more Hail Marys and mysteries than I would have anticipated from other masses I have been to--I forget what kind of mysteries we had, it turns out there are several. It was of course upsetting--I went through a litany myself of crying for people (and Kitty) I know that have already died, and then my grandmothers who might have to die soon, and then Davy's parents, and then my parents, and then Davy himself, and then finally by the end, when the priest was covering the coffin with a white shroud, myself. I am going to stop breathing one day, and they are going to put me in a box. I sort of hate all these ceremonies but have come to realize it is just more trouble if you request something different, like having your pallbearers just toss you over a cliff face.

I knew it was not useful to cry for people who are not actually dead, but I couldn't help imagining. Especially for Davy. I love him so much.

The priest--also the same priest who married us--told us that it was a certainty to take to the bank that the faithful departed give signs of their presence among us. Also that it was definite that grandma was in heaven with grandpa, that he had been getting into mischief without her but now she would set him straight. I am a little surprised that this is a priest's description of heaven, but I can understand that it is very consoling to think in this way. She had 1 son and 6 daughters and they spent the rest of the weekend getting upset about the provisions of the will and who gets what.

My niece is 14 and obsessed with the idea of those she loves dying--we were in the mausoleum where Davy's grandma would be and it smelled like death and formaldehyde in there. She asked what the awful smell was making her feel sick. I would have told her, but her mother said that it was the smell of cleaner for all the marble in there and that she should smell the flowers instead....I am a bad aunt, I have realized. I gave my nephew fireworks, my other niece brownies and milkshakes, and was telling this niece that it probably would be a really good idea for her to join the Justin Bi3b3r fan club, IF she was really serious about meeting him. And not just an average fan. Bad, bad judgment.

I also found out that sake is delicious, and that Davy can be helpful when I need to overcome one of my frequent bouts of virulent, impatient crankiness. I was thinking that perhaps I should start praying to Jesus about this trouble, but it worked pretty well to confess to Davy. I will end up a Catholic in the end, I know it.

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