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( Saturday, Jan. 25, 2003 8:01 pm )

>Be off or I'll kick you down stairs

So today I was lucky enough to be molested on the bus for the first time. The guy seemed more senile than pervie though, so I didn't really cause a ruckus as I might have. He was only touching my back and my arm, through my coat, so I was like "Hey, hey!" I definitely do not like to be touched in the best of circumstances, but anyway I was able to spring off the bus moments later. It's a pity this did not occur a couple of years ago in the fullness of my gender-inequality awareness and pissiness, when I believed that all men deserved a kick down stairs with a pointy boot, cause then I would have really caused a big, embarrassing, castrating scene. Next time. I wish I knew another language in which to curse out touchy bastards, but I just have to fall back on the English-major vocab. Could I call somebody "abhorrent"?

So I forgot to add yesterday that one of the previews before The Way Home was for a new movie starring our old pal Amelie. From all appearances she acts (and looks, cuteypants that she is) just like Amelie, with the pseudo-stalking and surveillance of the charming boy, except that in this movie it's meant to be creepy and not endearing. Can we all band together on this, and maybe send a letter to the French film board, requesting that Audrey Tautou confine herself to brandishing spoons and skipping stones and talking lamps, and not appear as a homicidal maniac or in other non-whimsical roles? Also, congratulating her on making Almostreally's Official List of the Top Two Actresses Named Audrey Who Are Brunette Cuteness Role Models?

Meanwhile in reality, can you believe I'm in instead of out on another night? I can't. It's really ridiculous, however I can't picture myself going out alone to a bar or something like that. The main trouble is that this and the next two weekends are taken up with prospective students visiting the science geeks' university, hence my "beloved" "friends" are constantly occupied with college-sponsored bar-hopping and free dinners. OK, plus they never really were my friends to begin with, but really, I'm so desperate for stimulation (OK, drinking and flirting) that I would agree to just about any plan right now, even doing my least-favorite activity (playing pool in South Jersey while talking exclusively about science, say) with my least-favorite people (Nicole and various non-descript boring and prissy girls) with a large degree of happiness.

I hate myself just a little bit right now, but luckily I still hate others just a little bit more. Should I work at Barnes & Noble, do you think? Not that the two are related...though maybe they are. I hate people and I love books; I think I know where I belong!

Anyway, tomorrow I'm going to Fake Church, buying beer (poss. Dos Equis) for Ellie's Super Bowl party (I really could care less about football or commercials, but any excuse to drink), and then attending said party. Currently Ellie and friends are downstairs watching a video. Her young man is over, as I understand it, so maybe she'll be gettin her some tonight. I'd like to say that I won't be, like, trying to determine if he slept over, but in fact I feel a deep and all-absorbing interest in this topic. Oh, and PS I finally met the ex-husband today. I had been picturing him as some sort of evil cowboy because of his non-traditional name and cavalier past behavior, but he was actually pleasant and likeable looking, tall and chubby and glasses-wearing. I'm still convinced of his assholishness; he's just an undercover asshole.

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