Act natural

( Saturday, Mar. 08, 2003 12:01 am )

>Harness the power of his cuteness!

Friends, I woke up this morning with two convictions. I knew that by the end of the day I would have a) a job and b) been kissed. Yet neither of these things came to pass.

Regarding a), I don't quite know whether to laugh or cry, because man, even a crap retail establishment like Giant Chain Bookstore did not want me. Unfortunately, I played up the love of books angle a little too much during the interview at the expense of the I love retail sales angle. But interview guy only told me at the end that he did not read (and he literally seemed to have trouble reading any of the proper names on my application) so it was too late then to regret the turn things had taken. It's a pity too, my references definitely would have had glowing things to say about me. So, in conclusion: Bookstore, you are a total bastard. Do you like apples? How do you like them apples?

Regarding b), tonight was also the culmination of my tireless attempts at being flirtatious, the date with Call. I spent a good amount of time at dinner (and an excellent dinner it was too. Pho is A-OK) simply gazing at his face and for perhaps the first time truly appreciating the sheer adorableness therein. I've now decided that he resembles Peter Krause from Sports Night and Six Feet Under more so than Conan. After dinner we hit the street for the first in a series of long wandering walks in search of various establishments visited at some point in history, without actually knowing where or when or why (earlier in the night I'd taken one of these on my own, in search of my bank. I always forget where it is). Anyway, let's sum up this inbetween part as consisting of some semi-awkward touching, e.g. he offered me his arm, which was nice, and I believe I took his hand at one point, though so briefly that I suspected he hadn't meant to hold mine in the first place, but was merely reaching into his pocket or something. Anyhow, we went to see Lost in La Mancha, which was OK, and had some more semi-awkward brief touching (arm around waist, hand-holding, etc.) By this point I was concentrating solely on wondering when exactly the kiss would take place... until finally we shared a cab home, and as he got out he... squeezed my hand. But I think we'll be going out again, perhaps next week. So much for my convictions.

Oh, I forgot to tell you the most ridiculous part! Some may recall that before my first date with Nathan, way back in the day, I indulged in a little imprudent Nair-ing, resulting in chemical burns. And guess what? I honest to God did the exact same thing yesterday, again right before a first date. Why? Why? Why? Why did I even still have that bottle of Nair? I guess I just thought if I followed the directions this time... but no, still bad. Had to wear a turtleneck on date to camoflauge the wreckage. At least I finally threw out that fucking stuff. Some people ask me, "Almostreally, does it hurt to be as retarded as you are?" And I answer them, "sometimes."

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