--> Act natural

( Thursday, Jan. 01, 2009 8:25 pm )

>We'll tak a cup of kindness yet

I thought I would try and see if I want to keep a diary again.

I'm vaguely worried about my tonsil, which has been hurting a little since Christmas. And then today I used Davy's ultrabright LED flashlight to look at it, and I can see two holes in it. Remember like five years ago I had an abscess there and I couldn't eat or drink or swallow my own spit and I had to go to the emergency room and the doctor there showed me a syringe filled with my own pus and then went back in for more but there really wasn't any more in there? And remember how I had just met Davy back then and he called me up and thought he had the wrong number because my voice sounded so strange. I didn't call him for about two weeks after that. Anyway, but it's not so bad this time. Yet.

I quit smoking weed again for the New Year. Actually it's because I've been feeling amazingly happy lately and smoking actually makes me miserable, instead of the other way around.

I think I've been worrying about the wedding too much. I was worried that my procrastination might be offensive to Davy, like he might think I didn't want to marry him. But actually he doesn't want to go through a whole big ceremony either, just like me. Our moms, not surprisingly, each have their own pet plans. But he and I have agreed to stall for dear life. And indeed, why not? I have such a hard time picturing myself in any type of wedding ceremony....all I know is, I want to ride in on a unicorn. My parents feed it sugar cubes. Then I dismount, put on a crown made of lit candles and leave an offering of oranges at a fertility shrine. Davy dances suggestively in front of a podium, pulling long scarves from out of his clothing.....other than that, I don't really know what I want.

In general, I had a really excellent 2008--the last few months in particular were like an endless holiday. And I think 2009 will be just as good and eventful and probably even more so. It can't just be politically, but everything, but I have a lot of optimism and hope and happiness about the future.

I do have to rewrite a really terrible grant proposal for the hundredth time tomorrow, but then it's the weekend and I think we're going to go skating and then drink hot toddies. And I'm going to eat vegetables and listen to blues music and make paper mache post-neptunian solar objects every day and get my work on McSweeney's and "learning to love you more" and all kinds of stuff. Maybe we'll buy a house. Maybe I'll learn to sew or try yoga for once. I think part of the reason I don't want to get married is that I'm really perfectly happy with things exactly as they are. Thanks to Davy I even have a whole network of friends now.

I started this diary during a peculiarly happy time too. I forgot it's supposed to be funny too, though. I'll work on it.

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