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( Monday, Mar. 10, 2003 9:50 am )

>O come let us adore him

So, first and foremost, I'm going out with Call again on Thursday. I'm getting crazier as time goes on because I keep realizing just how much I adore him, which scares me because there's no possible way he could adore me as much in return, at least not so soon. I mean, let's just say he's already occupied a good portion of my mental space for several months even before the first date, when my liking was strongly reinforced. He is also worryingly brilliant (went to a certain college beginning with an H and ending with an arvard, is currently at med school in our local neighborhood ivy, and even now at work curing AIDS while I update my internet diary.

However, I'm trying to keep myself under wraps just a little bit if possible, if only to avoid blurting out "I adore you!" on a second date. I try to keep in mind the philosophy of Emerson, who says "A political victory, a rise of rents, the recovery of your sick, or the return of your absent friend, or some other favorable event, raises your spirits, and you think good days are preparing for you. Do not believe it. Nothing can bring you peace but yourself. Nothing can bring you peace but the triumph of principles." Do not believe it. Do not believe it. Except sometimes, I am pretty sure that my good days are beginning now. My hopes are so high that I know it'll all end in tears (that being the most optimistic and pessimistic sentence ever written).

Speaking of Emerson, church (UU) on Sunday was really good. Musically a bit below par, but the sermon was great. The thing with church is, it's not like I really need to be told that materialism is bad, that charity is good, that I should help others and look after my own soul--these are not news flashes--but it is so good to actually hear another person stand up and say they believe these things. It's not a message that I get the rest of the week, but Sundays at least I'm among some people who think like I do. Brilliant, brilliant. Plus, it's great to know that material things can't make you happy, cause man, I got no money at all.

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