Act natural

( Wednesday, Jul. 10, 2002 10:54 pm )

>Listing to one side

Here's what I did today:

1. Went shopping at Marshall's and TJ Maxx. Yesterday I bought myself eyeshadow, lipstick, and an eyelash curler (all for the first time ever), so I rode this girly high today and bought beat-looking cords (a step backwards), a skirt, and a purse (also a first). Tomorrow I'm going to the mall. I realize I suck, but you'd understand if you looked in my closet: everything I wear is old and faded and hippie-ish. I seriously still wear T-shirts that I got when I was 13, like all the time, in public (I'm 22).

2. Cleaned out the linen closet. This one was deeply satisfying. I'm in a cleaning mode because I'm moving out of my parents' house soon, hopefully for the last time ever. Anyway, this closet was so shameful....my mom had so much crap in there from the early eighties, like a suitcase full of expired prescriptions and all our old bathmats and this ugly straw hat she used to hang on the front door. I wasn't allowed to throw out the hat, or a very gross 1970s orange and brown bedspread.

3. Went to dinner with my mom. I pissed her off a little bit because I told her I knew many secrets about my brother Adam and I wasn't going to tell her. It was very funny to me. I kept saying "Oh the things I know! They would curl your hair!" I like being able to tease my mom now. I have a nickname for her ("Mamacita"), and I enjoy getting her attention and then slapping my ass at her. Fun!

One of the things I know about my brother that I won't tell is a real recent one. Last summer he bought this total crap car that's been sitting in the driveway ever since. This thing is a monstrosity, never ran, and he paid $1,600 for it (he ain't bright when it comes to spending the benjamins). Anyway, my parents have really been on him to get rid of it, and he's been having people come by to see it, but it wasn't going well. The price kept going down and down, until finally he offered the car to this guy for free if he would just come get it that night. The guy actually gave him 100 bucks for the car and hauled it away. Now, this is a car tha--when the guy's tow truck lifted the front end--almost cracked in two, keep that in mind. But Adam and I decided it would be very funny to tell my mother that he sold the car for $2,200--ie made a profit. So we did, and she believed it. It really cracks me up when she tries to tell me about how amazed she is that he could get this price. "Yep, that's a classic car. Guess Adam was right all along." Maybe I'll be going to hell for it, but I think it's really fun to lie to my parents.

Adam's other two transgressions are:

had his girlfriend sleep over here all the time two summers ago

has had pierced nipples since age 15

My transgressions are:

smoked pot at school

That's about it for me. I'll try to do some more things they'll disapprove of in the future.

I'm IM-ing with Ruby right now, she's so funny. Oh my.

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