Act natural

( Saturday, May. 04, 2002 3:17 am )

>Too tired for bed

Today Ruby and I sat in front of our big windows and watched as the construction workers shingled the roof across the street. We watched them do the whole thing, and then called Priscilla over to see one of them, "Eduardo," who seemed like his type. Priscilla got out the binoculars. We think they may have seen us, but evidently they did not care. I was conflicted: did I want to be a construction worker (possibly) or did I want to have some sort of physical contact with one of them (also possible)? A third and compelling option was the desire to see one of them in a dress. See folks, we're all complex human beings.

Ruby and I also bought a tiny pipe today, but our would-be dealer is difficult to contact.

We made it a blockbuster night, renting "Ghost World," which made me sad about my future, and down on Nathan. I couldn't help comparing him to the Steve Buscemi character, and thinking how glad I was that he was not touching me, and regreting inviting him over for tomorrow...how do I keep bouncing between elation and depression? Yesterday I had an elaborate plan for how I wanted to kiss him, today I think there's something wrong with him for liking me, and it all seems unbearably complicated.

Tonight I am filled with love for Ruby.

Tonight I am glad Prissy and Stinky are gone for the weekend.

Tonight I am too tired to go to bed.

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