Act natural

( Friday, Apr. 26, 2002 1:57 pm )

>Fifi, my new best friend

Yesterday my friend Fifi came through for us in a big way--she found us a pot dealer. Some guy she's the lab instructor for has a little business going--"but he smokes all his profits," Fifi says--so now, like magic, we have a source! It's quite exciting. Ruby and I have been half-heartedly working on this for an entire year now, even though theoretically it really shouldn't have been this hard, given that I could probably swing my arms and hit someone who is either using or selling drugs. We certainly should have suspected that all those people taking chemistry might be good prospects for drug dealing. So anyway, at next weekend's annual hippie spectacular at PCU--the Founder's Day fair--we'll be almost as addled as everyone else.

Discussing the drug thing invited some of Ruby's patented drug musings (previous example: "The one drug I would never do is crack!" [just the one??]) Last night she revealed her master plan, which is to become drug addicted (possibilities: heroin, or morphine) at age 80, since it doesn't matter then anyway. Interesting theory. She'll be somebody's crackhead grandma, and that's a beautiful thing. Talking with her about drugs always reminds me to rent Trainspotting and make her pay attention this time. Hello, dead baby, theivery, withdrawal. Stop ogling Ewan and learn something, durnit.

Classes have stopped argeeing with me. Yesterday as I was heading to Dostoevsky, a class that has become a nightmare of slow time horror during which I'm sure the professor conducts the last twenty or thirty minutes in low-voiced Russian, I started fantasizing about treating my professors like stupid little girls. I pictured interrupting them mid-lecture to say "Aw, sweetheart, no, don't worry your pretty little head about it" or, like David Bowie says, "Oh baby, just you shut your mouth." This really cracked me up.

Also yesterday I talked with my Tiny Boyfriend again, and I think it went pretty well. His revised date idea is to go to this outdoor sculpture place, which sounds both weird and interesting. I'm telling you, the whole dating thing is pretty awesome. It's like having a tour guide. I'm seeing him Saturday.

And in my final note in this Yesterday Round-Up, Ruby and I were motivated by that Thanksgiving Friends episode wherein Ross tries to remember all of the 50 states to try that game too. An exercise in frustration. All I have left to say is: Fuck you, Indiana!

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