Act natural

( Tuesday, Apr. 09, 2002 9:40 pm )

>"You're looking great, really very, very fat and unwell..."

We live facing the golf course, and today I actually heard someone yell "fore!" I didn't know they really did that.

Today marks the first time in my life that I took a boy's shirt off. Sadly, it was only Priscilla, and he needed assistance because he had bike grease on his hands. Tonight Prissy was in manic mode, and made himself a dress out of brown paper grocery bags. Ruby took a picture, and then he decided to go next door to show them...predictably we locked him out. Har har. Take that, attention whore. I don't know, sometimes he's funny, sometimes it's just annoying. Like living with a small child.

This evening I went to a fiction reading by some of the English department--one of them was an old prof of mine that I liked tremendously. I wound up sitting next to her husband, this guy who was really nice to us when the class came over to their apartment; he got out the beer and wine and cheese for us, and was just generally the nicest guy. He and his wife were sitting separately, but they laughed out loud at the same parts. On the way out, I felt a very firm hand on my shoulder, and turned around to find a very old lady there. She said to me, "That was very good." "Yes it was," I replied, and turned around again. Did she think she knew me? Was she confusing me with one of the readers? Or was she just forcibly making conversation with a random person? I was very confused, so I didn't handle it very well.

As I was walking home, I overheard some conversation behind me that made me suddenly paranoid that one of the readers was the fiancee of a long-ago PCU graduate that I had/have a tremendous crush on. Let's just say it's crazy, but certain pieces fit. And I have gone certifiably insane. Can you be justified in seeing Fate at work if a certain person, moved far away years ago, is brought to my attention in a strange way every couple of months? Can I be committed for wondering if he is similarly reminded of me every once in a while?

Anyway, Web MD is making me a little hypochrondriacal. I've been consulting it frequently for all my diverse medical problems, including the recent cold sore and sore throat, and larger questions, such as: is it bad to not have your period for six months? Is there a test they can perform to determine whether I am carrying the imaculately conceived child of God? Today I convinced myself that I have strep throat. This morning in art history I was sure I was developing a fever right there in class. I was feeling very strange, spaced out and tired in a way very different from the way I am usually spaced out and tired in class. This afternoon I took a three hour nap in place of Dostoevsky and going to work, and that turned out to be just as helpful as a round of penicilin. Remind me to have Ruby look down my throat for redness or white patches.

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