Act natural

( Sunday, Apr. 07, 2002 4:06 am )

>It's four, but it only feels like three

Last night Ruby and I did manage to go to that party, although only after an embarrassing amount of preparation including drinking, strategizing, pep talks, and a drunken bike ride down the hill. After some vocal exercizes, recon missions, and false starts, we found ourselves pushing through a huge crowd of people wedged into a very small area, exuding the confident who-the-fuck-are-you-screw-you-and-your-trust-fund-too-you-faux-european-fasionable-bastard look I had advised. We reached a deadlock at the top of the stairs, where a throng were waiting for the bathroom. Though bravely we wished to go forward, we were stuck, yet we were nevertheless able to accomplish Party Imperative #1, to meet and greet the host, Ruby's crush, who appeared coming down the stairs above. With that done, we retreated in glory to finish our beers at home.

Today I did indeed go for my long drive, nearly 5 hours. Hoo man. One trouble is that there are apparently no good radio stations in PA. You've got country, NPR, and soft rock and that is it. Billy Joel's "River of Dreams" plays near-continously there, for some reason. And also a lot of Phil Collins. I was reminded of how much I used to like Phil back in elementary school. I think I used to like Su-su-sudio. What the hell was that, anyway?

Tonight was less exciting. I was watching SNL--did you catch the part where Jimmy Fallon was Jamie Oliver, the Naked Chef? Holy moly! It was like my two favorite boy-men suddenly merged into one. So I spontaneously combusted. Later Ruby and I decided to go to the diner, where I learned that Disco Fries are really only good if you're drunk. As we were walking up to my car to go to the Diner, we were struck by the unaccustomed sight of a girl collapsed on the ground outside our house. We were both a little amazed, but luckily Ruby has EMT training, so I was just waiting for her to spring into action. It soon became evident that the girl was just barfing, however, and she refused our offers of help in a pathetic voice. Her friend was sitting at the top of the stairs too, we realized. Our consciences were troubling us anyway, since the girls both seemed really drunk and freshmany, so we....well, we narced on them. We just wanted to send somebody to check up on them, so we told security to send up an EMT-person, but I guess they sent up a guard instead. I'm pretty sure everybody involved got shepherded off of the hard cold ground into bed, and not busted, hopefully. And now I'm off to shower and wash the narc offen me.

Goodnight! Set your clocks ahead!

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