Act natural

( Wednesday, Sept. 04, 2002 9:36 am )

>Tool

According to this thing, I haven't written in two days, and that's mostly because I was busy feeling like a complete tool. Or as I put it to myself in my head yesterday: "I am a royal ass." Yesterday Juney started school, and brought home two fellow grad students in the afternoon (to play Scrabble and watch Fight Club. They'll never be back!). Anyway, I was beside myself with joy at the unaccustomed sight of people in the apartment that were not me or June, so I hung out too...but anyway, after they left, the toolishness set in, because what am I doing here? It makes some sense to me that I should hang out, be lazy, directionless, unemployed, but obviously it shames me to have to say that I live near the university but don't go to school, and don't work. I just followed Juney. I don't know, I wanted to live in a city, and it sounded like fun. Nah, I'm "just starting" the job search. No, no leads. Uh, I don't know, a writer or something, but I'll do whatever.

See, total tool. I feel like an imbecile. I wish I knew what to do.

Eh. Anyway. I've sort of got an odd job for next week: I'm painting our hallway. Landlady Ellie met us on her way out the other day and told us, "feel free to say no, but with the baby I never really got to finish painting the hallway upstairs, and if you wanted to, feel free to say no, but I would buy the paint and everything, and if you would do it I'd knock 100 bucks off next month's rent..." And I was all like, "you had me at 'paint.'" The $100 was just gravy, because her paint jobs (in the stairway, for example, and in our bathroom) are not good at all. I spent the summer before this one painting at the Cottage, both inside and out, so I feel a certain professional interest in the walls here, and must insist on the importance of two coats on uneven surfaces and of painter's tape around the edges. Critical. So I can't wait to begin.

And I still haven't gotten a haircut. I think I must put that on my Points of Accomplishment today. Oh lord, the toolishness.

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