Act natural

( Tuesday, Jul. 22, 2003 3:45 pm )

>When the dog bites, when the bee stings

Further updating my David Morse news (see last entry, or then again, don't), I watched the DVD of Dancer in the Dark yesterday--an odd little thing in which Bjork beats Morse to death with a safety deposit box (causing me to scream to Juney "No, tell me she is not going to beat him to death with a safety deposit box!"). And then there's a musical number in which he comes back to life and dances around the bathroom and kitchen with her. Next time I see him around my block I'll have to ask if he wants to come in and shimmy a bit in Landlady's Ellie's kitchen with me.

Anyway, work today was mild to moderately amusing. I walked there, which was like being smothered in a blanket due to some heinous humidity. They wouldn't even recognize me at the door these days if I wasn't dripping with sweat. Ugh. Also, I was working the cash register when a girl came up who I recognized from PCU. "So you're a year out too? How're you doing?" she asked me, and I gestured grandly around at the bookstore as if to say "retail!" And then I felt bad later for always acting ashamed of my life in front of other people. I don't know though. It's not like I'm real proud of my fake-career, even though I do have BENEFITS now (financial independence now!). WW Emerson D?

I spent today's bus ride home contemplating breaking up with Call, which I something I tend to occupy my mind with on the homebound commute, whether foot or public transpo. I really am not sure why. I started off on that tangent because I suddenly felt like I wasn't too anxious to see the boy (coming home tomorrow), but rather that my arms were lonely, etc. This one little thought always tends to launch a whole avalanche of self-involved musings. I think what really keeps me from going through with it (besides the obvious fact that I like him well enough when I'm with him, and most of the time, really) is how much I like being the girl who ensures that Call has a girl. Because he's, like, a nerd, but he deserves to get some. This sounded much more interesting in my head, I assure you. Self-centeredness: it passes the time!

Blegh, so maybe I'm not in the best frame of mind after all. Possibly I may need to eat a hotdog (I bought some this week and they're delicious if I don't look directly at them, or indeed think too hard about what I'm eating) or a row of cookies and rewatch the scene wherein Bjork dances around on a moving train. I love her, man. One thing that movie teaches us is that she would make a fucking fantastic Maria in Sound of Music.

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