Act natural

( Sunday, Nov. 24, 2002 1:13 am )

>A woman's voice on the radio can convince you you're in love

Listening to my old PCU favorite radio station again, for the first time in a long while. They are playing "Complex Person" by the Pretenders and I like it and I've never heard it before and it makes me wish I was back in my old room with the Christmas lights (now burnt out, I guess) on and dancing around, and Ruby there on the stairs. I haven't missed my old house in a while either, but I do tonight. It was painted exactly the same matte off-white as my room here. A couple drinks in me, I admit.

I came home this evening to find that Landlady Ellie was installing baby gates on the stairs. While I am happy for Baby Boy now that he is nearly mobile and able to take his Cute Show on the road, I am a little worried for my own safety. I already have to sprint up three winding flights in the pitch black in a race against the burglar alarm when I come home at 2am, possibly inebriated, and now with the additional obstacle of the baby gates, the sprint has become the hurdles. My house is a drunk's obstacle course.

Right now, though, it is late and I am alone because Juney is at her new boyfriend's house tonight--it's good because I like being alone, but bad because I hate when my friends get all cute on me. Blegh, throw up.

I drank a bit of the duty-free orange vodka (delicious, in that way that cough medicine can be), out of simple boredom while watching an old SNL (I am so lame! Even lame people are out tonight, I'm sure). I also put on makeup earlier in the night while I was working on the NaNoWriMo snovel [32,000 words. Oh shitemuffin, I am not going to make it to 50,000!] because I thought it might amuse me. Broke out the old blue eyeshadow, and over-glossed my lips...diary, I must confess all of my lameness to you! Let no lameness stone go unturned! Out of sheer perverseness I have begun fantasizing about Jelly Boy. There! That's the last of it.

I don't really like him, I swear to you, but you know how it is, peverseness, right? I've got no one to like, I don't want to like anyone, no one likes me, and I don't want anyone to like me. That is my story, and I'm sticking to it.

Getting a ride home with Christopher and June on Tuesday night. I can't wait. They're all going to love me at home, I've been away so long. And oh, my car! I wonder how many days in before I start missing this house and the science geeks and everything?

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